The Nature and Morality of Romantic Compromises

This chapter argues that compromises can help us to avoid disputes and fights and enable us to live peacefully with each other. However, compromises also have a negative aspect in that they might require us to surrender our values. This conflict is based upon two opposing aspects implicit in compromise: the necessity to be sensitive to the other's needs and the willingness to relinquish one's values. The issue of compromise becomes even more complex in romantic love, the ideal characterization of which seems to refuse any type of compromise. However, since romantic love involves an intimate relationship between two people, compromises are required as well. The test of genuine love is whether lovers can accommodate these compromises in a manner that prevents, or significantly reduces, the negative aspects, and allows the positive ones to prevail.