Listening Across the Divide: High-Quality Listening Promotes Speakers’ State Well-Being Through Basic Psychological Need Satisfaction During Disagreements

People regularly disagree, but disagreements come at a cost to relationships and well-being when communication is poor. We posited that high-quality listeners who convey their clear attention, understanding, and positive intention can turn a disagreement into a constructive experience for speakers and those expressing their views. Informed by self-determination theory, we examined whether receiving high-quality listening would improve speakers’ state well-being (SWB) and its future-oriented component, state optimism, by satisfying the psychological needs for relatedness, autonomy, and competence. Across five studies (N = 1,624), three of which were preregistered, and using diverse methods including experimental vignettes, live conversations, recalled conversations, and a multilevel field survey, we compared high-quality, moderate-quality (Studies 1–5), and low-quality (Study 1) listening when conversing partners agreed or disagreed. Speakers who experienced high-quality listening consistently reported greater SWB, state optimism, and basic psychological need satisfaction. The main effects on SWB and state optimism were consistently mediated by relatedness need satisfaction. Although the indirect effects via autonomy and competence varied, an internal meta-analysis showed that both significantly mediated SWB and state optimism. Importantly, in Studies 3 and 4, high-quality listening during a disagreement resulted in higher speakers’ SWB than moderate-quality listening during an agreement. These findings challenge the assumption that disagreement is inherently divisive and extend interpersonal relationship research by providing a better understanding of its consequences. They point to listening quality as a pathway to SWB and social connection, even when views are opposing.