Between remembering and forgetting: The experience of forgiveness among older abused women

'Lived experiences' of forgiveness of older abused women throughout a life in intimate partner violence are described and analysed from a phenomenological perspective. Semistructured in-depth interviews were conducted with 21 older abused Jewish women in Northern Israel. The data were analysed along two dimensions: one related to the need to explore who forgives whom; the other to various ways of forgiving, starting from not forgetting and not forgiving, moving through forgiveness experienced as burden, the struggle between forgetting and remembering as an obstacle to forgiveness at the same time, remembering without verbalizing violence, 'giving in', and ending with forgiving and not forgetting. The discussion deals with the ways forgiveness enables the bridging between suffering, martyrdom, strength resulting from wisdom of age and survival. The meaning of being an older abused woman in the light of this duality is explored.