“After the Thrill Is Gone”: The Role of Psychotherapy in Coping With Romantic Breakups

To investigate the perceptions of ex-romantic partners regarding the extent to which and ways in which psychotherapy facilitates coping with the consequences of the dissolution of past relationships, a multipart survey (Representations of Past Significant Others) that included Likert-type, multiple-choice, and open-ended questions about the ways in which individuals remember a past significant relationship and the ways in which they have moved toward closure from that relationship was disseminated via social media and networking. An attachment status measure (Experience in Close Relationship Scale–Short Form) was also administered. A total of 1,846 respondents, mean age 30.6 and predominantly White, heterosexual, female, and from the United States, completed the survey, 74.6% of whom attended psychotherapy post breakup. On average, respondents who engaged in therapy following their breakup found it to be moderately to very helpful; younger respondents, those in longer term relationships, and those with higher scores on the Experience in Close Relationship Scale–Short Form Anxiety subscale evaluated the helpfulness of therapy more highly. Multiple clinical interventions were perceived as helpful in coping with romantic breakups, including normalizing respondents’ feelings about their experience, encouraging them to be more aware of their feelings, encouraging them to move forward with their lives, reminding them of their strengths, exploring the story of the relationship and the breakup, and challenging their self-critical thoughts or feelings. Understanding who is best served by postbreakup therapy and the specific interventions, psychotherapeutic and otherwise, that move individuals toward closure may facilitate therapists’ efforts to help with this common source of client distress.